Commentary, Healthcare, Politics

#GotInsurance: Healthcare for Chumps

I can’t actually remember the ad campaigns of any other health insurance providers in America. Maybe it’s because we never had much choice, so they just figured we would take what we could get. Not much has changed, except for this attempt at something from #GotInsurance. I’m still not 100% sure that this isn’t a joke, but I don’t really feel like digging any deeper (it does link to a .gov website).

It seems like whoever designed the campaign based it on the commercials for Surge and stock photos from a middle school textbook about douchebags. It is meant to appeal to young people, but then goes on to make them look like a bunch of jabronis. 

I’m not following this health insurance stuff too much, because I’m living out of the country, but from what I’ve gleaned from my parents’ posts on Facebook, a lot of people got Obamacare who didn’t want it. And what do you do in a situation like that? Based solely on this ad campaign, if I were to choose Obamacare or something else or even nothing, I would have to go with the latter two options. It isn’t so much what the ads are saying about the insurance, but the way that they are saying it. Okay, it’s also what they’re saying. I’m sorry, but if it’s for bros, it’s not for me.

Insurance for when people who don’t know you want to punch you in the face.. and people who do know you want to punch you in the face.

Most insurance companies do end up providing coverage for bros, and I realize that, but they don’t go and rub it in my face. Presented with this information, what the hell do they expect from the self-respecting portion of the population? Most of us would cringe at the thought of being associated with someone who makes that face in photos (I’m talking about you “Sam”). And how about this: Your health care can cover those Dbags getting their stomachs pumped (and thus prolonging their existence). Vom.

In addition to their misguided pandering to the Bro segment, they are also targeting girls who drink red wine and do yoga. This is what young women do, so obviously they understand us and our needs. Okay, so I’m a 25 year old woman and I drink red wine and do yoga, but I resent them for trying to get jokey with me, they don’t know me. This is just a meme in the making, but the joke’s on them.

This is based on the someecard about the girls who want to work out but really just end up drinking. It’s only okay when we say it!

When practiced correctly, Yoga should help you, not hurt you. Yogis we practice Ahimsa (non-violence) which means we do not push ourselves beyond our limitations. No healthcare needed.

Then there’s the sad desperate girl who is trying to bed an obvi sleazy guy. I mean, come on.

Birth control for when you’re sleeping with a guy whose genes you don’t want anywhere near your uterus and who also  probably poked a hole in the condom. SMH NBD DTF.

The website is embarrassing itself right down to its URL: This is the hip vernacular of the youths.

If you saw these ads and thought “Yes! They’re finally making insurance for people like me,” please comment.

From what I can tell, this insurance covers accidents caused by keg stands, birth control, lesbians, the stalking of Ryan Gosling, Bike and other fitness related accidents, and flu shots. #thanksobamacare that pretty much covers all of the ailments of today’s silly and frivolous youths.




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