Commentary, Uncategorized

Girls girls girls

I get along with guys; most of my friends are guys. It’s easier to trust men sometimes.
– Paris Hilton

I can’t stand hearing this phrase. Of course you get on well with boys, they’re nice to you because they want to sleep with you. And yet, girls proclaim this like a badge of honor, an achievement, when it really should be said out of resignation. There’s nothing wrong with having guy friends, a lot of us do, but it’s nothing of which to be proud. It is easier to be friends with guys. They aren’t going to feel competitive with you and they’ll put up with your shit because they’re hoping that eventually you will see them as a potential suitor. It sounds harsh and generalizing, but if you’re only able to make friends with people who also want to sleep with you, then your personality is probably defective.

It’s like betraying your own gender. I find it personally insulting, like what’s wrong with me, that you don’t want to be my friend? It’s never a necessary thing to say. So guys have a different sense of humor, are more laid back and easy to get along with, and have less drama. They don’t always want to get with you, but most of the time they do, and it’s nice to have girl friends who will never have that agenda.

And before someone says, “My best friend is a boy, he doesn’t want to sleep with me–” FALSE. I mean, maybe, but it’s rare. Still, I understand the frustration. I know how girls can be. Two-faced, duplicitous, bitches… But what is more two-faced than acting nicer to a girl than you would if she were a dude, because you want to sleep with her? The only reasonable thing to do, is to only make friends with guys who are out of your league, and therefore couldn’t possibly see you in that light.

I guess I’m just old-fashioned. I’m a girls’ girl. I don’t like it when girls pander to guys, feigning interest in sports, video games, farts, etc. If you really like that stuff, fine. I have no problem with that. But I know pandering. I act like I enjoy burps and Age of Empires so that my little brother will think I’m cool. Okay it’s like 50% I do like those things and 50% pandering. I’m not about to forsake my gender though.

Though certain interests might traditionally be associated with men, it’s the 21st century, girls can like whatever they want. I actually only recently started liking beer. I know that the only thing, now, that would make me more attractive to men would be drinking whiskey, neat. I’m not doing it to impress dudes, they’re just characteristically more used to drinking beer, although for most of them it’s usually like Heineken, Heineken, Jagerbomb. When it comes to common interests, sometimes you have to make friends with the opposite sex by default, at least until you can find the right girls. But when I need to tell my secrets, gossip, or be that dramatic catty bitch that is the reason girls are friends with guys… I’m going straight to my girlfriends.

That being said, I haven’t gotten used to Irish girls yet. Help.

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