Lately I’ve been trying to get a handle on what’s really bugging me. I’m trying to pinpoint it, so bear with me.
Slut shaming is the new gay bashing.
There are two sides to this. First off, slut shaming and gay bashing are both real problems. And, secondly, slut shaming seems to be everyone’s new pet cause. Now that Gays are widely celebrated, the radical left has moved on.
I think that I’m a pretty modern, if pragmatic, woman. While I think that women should be able to sleep around as much as they’d like, that only works in theory. Maybe our culture isn’t ready for it yet. In practical terms, it may never work. Humans are innately selfish beings, we want attention, and we want to feel important. Sleeping around usually doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. It requires mutual respect, and self-respect, and it’s hard to achieve that in a one night stand. It really doesn’t work, and even if it should work, I’m not going to tell you to do it, because it doesn’t work.
Still, it’s pointless to make a girl who sleeps around feel bad about herself, and it’s ridiculously counter productive when guys do this. I’ve seen the worst of it, trust me. I really don’t care what someone does, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, there’s no reason to spew hatred and vitriol.
The problem, however, is the extended definition.
I don’t mind gays, and I have lots of friends who are gay. Sometimes we even talk about sex. They’re just people. Of course I don’t think that they should be hated, but I don’t think they should be celebrated either. They started a dangerous thing, too, because now everyone wants to be celebrated for their sexuality.
And this is what set me off: Question About Lena Dunham’s Nudity Sparks ‘Rage Spiral’
Basically, some guy asked Lena Dunham why she was naked so much on the show Girls.
Lena said: “If you are not into me, that’s your problem and you’re going to have to work that out with professionals”
the Executive Producter, Jenni Konner said: “I literally was spacing out because I’m in such a rage spiral about that guy,” she said pointing to the question-asker. “I was just looking at him looking at him and going into this rage [over] this idea that you would talk to a woman like that and accuse a woman of showing her body too much. The idea it just makes me sort of sick.”
Judd Apatow called the guy: sexist, offensive, and misogynistic, saying that there is a double standard against less than attractive women who wish to be nude onscreen, and that no one had a problem when Seth Rogan was naked in Knocked Up.
Well… actually. Yes, I’d rather look at attractive naked people. But when I’m watching TV, I don’t really need to see any naked people, attractive or not. If I wanted to look at naked people, there are other things I could watch. Seth Rogan wasn’t naked that much, so that’s probably why it wasn’t as much of an issue, but did I want to see it? Of course not. What is the point of putting unattractive naked people on TV? I don’t even really like looking at unattractive clothed people, to be honest, that’s why I watch Australian soaps, not British. Anyway, it’s a valid question, but their response tells us that we’re wrong to question why someone’s unwarranted unsexy sexuality is being shoved in our faces. I get it, it’s her show.
My problem is, people get so caught up on being offended, they lose sight of the real issues. Like, really Jenni, you were getting sick because someone said that Lena shows her body too much? Really? That’s the knee-jerk, slut-shaming activist reaction–that there’s no limit to sexual expression, and anyone who even hints at it might make you physically ill.
Slut shaming isn’t okay, by any means, but this broadened definition isn’t helping. When you group in people being taken aback when you shove your sexuality at them with the real culprits, it makes it seem like there is no real problem. People aren’t going to broaden their minds in one go, and when you take into account that the Duke Porn Star is getting death threats, being told to put on some clothes seems like a reasonable reaction.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that there is a difference, and when you group it all together you water it down. Yes, people should be able to do what they want, but you can expect some detractors. What isn’t okay is the hate. Rape, violence, threats. Those are not okay. You can assume that people are going to disagree with what you are doing. But if someone asking Lena why she doesn’t wear clothing more often makes you sick, you have it pretty good, and also can better understand the way that the viewers feel seeing Lena naked. Sorry Lena.